Now with his foot hurting less, and Poseidon back in his place, Zeus decided that he wanted to become a runner. For no reason other than every time one runs in a marathon one receives a cool shirt. And every time one receives a shirt, one feels like one has accomplished something special, even though nothing has REALLY been accomplished other than one wearing oneself out. It brings to ones mind a quote recently heard, "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." (Margaret Mead). Zeus found that amusing, even if Zeus is more unique than everyone else. At this point he was slapped in the face with Chuck Norris' spleen, because only the uniquest of the unique can splap (spleen slap) and Chuck Norris IS the most unique of them all. The one ring to RULE THEM ALL. So anyways, Zeus knew that he would need to begin a training regimen. What the heck's a regimen? "a strict, regulated plan (such as diet, exercise, or other activity) designed to reach certain goals." He would run first one day, then the next, and the day after that, taking a break only every 4,000 years. BUT like all other people in the world, Zeus was a lazy little s... BUM, and began taking breaks every 1,000 years, until he took one day off a year. Si mon dieu est parreuseux, qu'est-ce que je suis? (If my god is lazy, what am I?) Je pense, donc je suis. (I think therefore I am) Zeus doesn't speak french, so a translation was needed. In any case, taking a break every year isn't TOO bad, so after a couple of millenia, Zeus was all set to begin running in marathons. But keep in mind (for the next post) that a marathon in the eyes of a DEITY is not measured in miles, rather light years. And he would have to try extremely hard to keep up with Hermes, the messenger, who ran everywhere, all the time. *Drumroll*