Authors Note: I have an assignment for english class, in which I am supposed to write a short story. I am extremely lazy, and have decided to incorporate my short story into Zeus, and use a character in which that I do not have to invent a new one. Because of this little speed bump in the road, I am hoping that my grammar and 'stuff' will clear up a LITTLE bit (there I go) and get a good grade. I do need to change my story now so... don't worry about it.

Zeus looked around, and he realized that he wanted more. He had everything that he could ever possibly need, and still felt like there was more out there to be claimed.

This happened during a period where Greece had reached the height of its power, and the strongest government since Babylonians reigned. At the center of this government stood a figure, high and mighty, and yet a figure who still wanted more. The Greek religion revolved around this figure, and even still he wanted, even craved more.

It started off all fine and dandy, with everyone running in a pack, when Zeus decided that it would be beneficial to pull ahead in the first light year. And I was going to say that by doing this he would encounter an exponential amount of air resistance... But it would seem I brain CRAPPED and forgot that there is no air in SPACE. hence the name SPACE. Zeus then had to fight his own way through the void of black matter, and in doing so cleared a path for all the others. Pretty soon Hermes was level with Zeus, and then passed him. Zeus was slightly annoyed, but he could catch up with Hermes. Then OTHERS started passing him, INCLUDING the D god who only eats grapes and gets fat. (Dionysus in case you were wondering) so he (yet again) whipped out his fly swatter and began zapping gods. That then didn't work because they couldn't be grounded for the current to pass through them, and also gods have a higher tolerance than humans, so he just began taking them out. He launched an asteroid at a few, then ran into a giant present, and actually aquired a boost. By pressing the space button, he passed a few more, dodged around a banana peel, and hit the nitrous bottle. Ow. That dazed him a, but hitting the next present gave him a parachute thingy, which actually just slowed down all of the other gods, allowing Zeus to take them out more effec.... WHAT?! That's not the point of slowing them! Oh well, we never made any rules. By grabbing Athena by the ankles, and swinging her around, he took out all of the others except Hermes who had sped back up by now.

After preparing every day of every week of every month of every year of every decade for about half a century, Zeus finally felt prepared to run in a marathon. Sadly enough, Godly marathons are held every century, so he would need to prepare for another five decades before he would actually get to run in one. Stupidly enough, Hermes heard about his relentless vigour towards training, and began watching him (secretly). One day Zeus heard his door bell ring (a vibrant chorus of C#, B, and of course Y [flat] (It is not yet known how to make the b thingy on a computer)), and lo and behold, it was Hermes standing there with a chartreuse slip. (in case you didn't know (ignorant reader) a chartreuse slip is like a pink slip (the deed to a car (really ignorant reader)) just for a house instead). Hermes wanted to bet on the race. HAHAHA. Zeus had a good laugh at that, before accepting his offer, with the slip for MOUNT BRAINN FARTT.... OLYMPUS! that's it! MOUNT OLYMPUS was being BET to HERMES over a RUNNING race. Stupid, stupid, stupid Zeus. A few days later, the race started...

Now with his foot hurting less, and Poseidon back in his place, Zeus decided that he wanted to become a runner. For no reason other than every time one runs in a marathon one receives a cool shirt. And every time one receives a shirt, one feels like one has accomplished something special, even though nothing has REALLY been accomplished other than one wearing oneself out. It brings to ones mind a quote recently heard, "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." (Margaret Mead). Zeus found that amusing, even if Zeus is more unique than everyone else. At this point he was slapped in the face with Chuck Norris' spleen, because only the uniquest of the unique can splap (spleen slap) and Chuck Norris IS the most unique of them all. The one ring to RULE THEM ALL. So anyways, Zeus knew that he would need to begin a training regimen. What the heck's a regimen? "a strict, regulated plan (such as diet, exercise, or other activity) designed to reach certain goals." He would run first one day, then the next, and the day after that, taking a break only every 4,000 years. BUT like all other people in the world, Zeus was a lazy little s... BUM, and began taking breaks every 1,000 years, until he took one day off a year. Si mon dieu est parreuseux, qu'est-ce que je suis? (If my god is lazy, what am I?) Je pense, donc je suis. (I think therefore I am) Zeus doesn't speak french, so a translation was needed. In any case, taking a break every year isn't TOO bad, so after a couple of millenia, Zeus was all set to begin running in marathons. But keep in mind (for the next post) that a marathon in the eyes of a DEITY is not measured in miles, rather light years. And he would have to try extremely hard to keep up with Hermes, the messenger, who ran everywhere, all the time. *Drumroll*

He did call up Poseidon to ice it immediately, but he took his sweet time getting up to Mount Olympus, so by that time Zeus was feeling better anyways. He then proceeded to yell at Poseidon, but for fear of mercury poisoning couldn't eat him. So he set him back in his place. Homework time.

In any case, Zeus didn't like holes in him, they reminded him of Swiss cheese. Which reminded him of mice. Which reminded him of mouse traps. Which reminded him of that one story about the kid who was late to school every day, so his dad put a mouse trap on the snooze button. Which reminded him of Swiss cheese. (If you give a deity a deliberation...) Which reminded him of the moon. Which reminded him of aliens. OH YEAH, they were standing there in front of him. This digression was not helping at all. Reminding him of some of the requirements for homecoming court in highschool, the announcement said "You must have a 2.0 or higher GPA, and you may not have any acute chronic disciplinary issues" HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. IE ADD. Zeus found that sooo funny when he was in school, but it didn't really appeal to him now. Probably because there was a hole in his funny bone. This REALLY needed to stop, so he mustered up the energy to pick up the aliens, and put them in holding cells, until they stopped attacking. Or more conventionally named - easter eggs. They weren't very BIG aliens, the ship was about the size of a soccer ball, which, now that he thought about it made the perfect "Get out of my house" opportunity, He released the aliens back into the ship, and before they could get out, he gave 'em a good boot into the heavens. (that's nothing other than an expression, HEAVEN relates to GOD, and there ARE no gods above Zeus (Duh, how could you even THINK that?)) But being the dummy he is, and to keep the story going reasonably, he forgot to put shoes on (EVERYONE loves the feeling of cloud between their toes!) and hurt his foot pretty badly. It was red almost INSTANTLY and hurt like a BI.. bugger.

Zeus woke up with a start to some hardcore Kanye East blasting through the window. What the heck? So he went to go investigate the source of that crap. He actually found a bunch of gangsters graffiting the walls of his house. How the HECK did they get up here?! Zeus thought. But all odd matters aside, THIS was something that needed to be dealt with! He went back inside, and came back out with... You guessed it... HIS FLYSWATTER! One pop and those guys were deader than roadkill in the back of a trunk being eaten by maggots on a rainy tuesday. What to do with the bodies... Hmm... If he was WHACK OUT OF HIS MIND he would just fry 'em up and eat 'em but thats GROSS, so he decided to just shoot them into space. He actually built a slingshot and zoomed them through the atmosphere so they didn't COMPLETELY burn up, so that he could see what happened to stuff shot into space. Then it hit an alien spaceship, which then landed on him. Crap. Small little pink blobs started crawling out and cursing at him. In Latin. WOW, seriously?! a DEAD language for NEW life?! That's SO WEIRD. In any case, after cursing him out, they decided that he needed to be attacked... with paperclips. Several flew at him, before he realized that 1. Nobody was throwing them, they just zoomed at him, and 2. they were going all the way through him. Now Zeus had Uber-Natural healin' powas, and the holes sealed instantly, but how was that working? were they telekinetic?